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In deciding what to do during a disease epidemic, we all need to understand that schools, businesses, and
communities may need to take preventative actions that are very inconvenient.
Families may decide to cancel or postpone long-held plans and say “No, sorry,” to invitations. Or the
plans might need to change dramatically in order to manage risk. Perhaps you can suggest ways to make a
beloved gathering smaller, or at another time or place. Provide ideas for ensuring more space and good
hygiene that might allow the event to proceed, or find other ways to connect; like online and over the
phone. Instead of getting upset about these potential changes, or being tempted to ignore necessary
precautions because others are upset, we can work together figure out what to do and how to make the
best of even a hard situation.
Pay attention to trustworthy sources such as your health care providers. Ask for information and advice
from people who are knowledgeable and who empower you rather than trying to shock and upset you into
doing something unsafe. Let go of situations that cannot be changed and see what else, that is positive and
safe, can happen instead.
3. Accept that life always has uncertainty!
A health problem, an accident, a natural disaster, or an assault can upend our lives in an instant. Twelve
years ago, I had a health crisis brought on by extreme overwork and lack of self-care that thankfully
turned out not to have been a stroke. It took a while to recover and to re-organize my life so that I could
have much better balance.
During this personal time of change, I asked my sister-in-law Judy Wong, whose parents were originally
from China, “Is ‘May you live in uncertain times’ really a Chinese curse?”
Judy smiled at me kindly and said, “China is a very large country with many diverse cultures, and very
likely this has been used as a curse somewhere there at some time.”
The reality is that all of us are living in uncertain times, all the time – because LIFE is uncertain!
Finding peace with this reality can be very freeing.
Staying calm and preparing for what we CAN do; reviewing and updating safety plans; emotionally
preparing ourselves to be ready to change plans, if needed; and filtering information for what is and is not
helpful, all contribute to my ability to find peace in uncertainty, and I hope it helps you too.
But what if scary thoughts are persistent? This is a good time to get help and gain perspective.
Find adult help to talk about persistent negative thoughts, if you have them; and ask kids in your life,
every so often, "Is there anything you are wondering or worrying about that you haven't told me?" Listen
to them, even if their concerns seem silly to you, in a way that's non-judgmental. Hear them out and ask if
they would problem-solve with you to help make sure their worry gets addressed – and then practice skills
and safety plans. See our article about how to find a good therapist for yourself or your child, if needed.
No matter how joyfully and skillfully we teach Kidpower, having scary thoughts come up is normal at
times when our students are practicing how to take charge of their safety!
I remember one workshop many years ago, when a young student “Russ” surprised us by suddenly asking
urgently, “What if I were surrounded by bad guys who all had big guns pointing at me and were about to
shoot?”